Understanding the Journey of Motherhood

Hey there, my fellow journeyers of motherhood! A few articles ago I shared about how we define mother, my last article was about defining mother guilt, and today I want to dive into a term that might be unfamiliar to many but holds immense importance in our lives. So why not keep on the theme of understanding terms and how they can be so important to us.

Lets talk about matrescence – think of how you pronounce the word adolescence but it is mah-tre-scence.

First things first, what exactly is matrescence? Well, think of it as the sister to adolescence, but for mothers. It encompasses the physical, psychological, and emotional changes a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. It's like stepping into a whole new world where every experience, every emotion, and every challenge feels amplified and intensified. It occurs over a period of time, and is a journey of growth, expansion, and newness (think of all the changes in adolescence now just apply that to the stage of life of becoming a mother).

You might be wondering, where did this term even come from, I have never heard of it? Matrescence was coined by medical anthropologist Dana Raphael back in the 1970s. However, it's only recently that it's gaining the attention and recognition it truly deserves. Although typing this article, it still has all the red squiggly lines underneath it because it is not considered a word yet.

Understanding matrescence is not just about putting a label on a phase of life; it's about acknowledging the profound transformation that occurs within a woman when she becomes a mother. While matrescence can begin upon conception, it also can occur for adopted parents and parents via surrogacy. It is not simply rooted in the physiological experience of having to carry a pregnancy, but rather what happens to a woman as she becomes a mother.

Recognizing matrescence isn't just some intellectual exercise and I actually think in understanding it, mothers every where can find a lifeline. When we understand that what we're going through is not only normal but also a crucial part of the journey, it validates our experiences. It helps us realize that we're not alone in this whirlwind of motherhood.

Think about how many times have you felt like you were the only one struggling with certain demands of motherhood? How many times have you doubted your abilities as a mother because you didn't fit the image you hold of motherhood? Trust me, you're not alone, and actually it is part of matrescence (again, think of awkward teenage years…this is just the motherhood version).

By acknowledging matrescence, we're giving ourselves permission to embrace the messy, beautiful chaos of motherhood. We're saying, "Hey, it's okay to not have it all together. It's okay to ask for help.” That can be incredibly freeing.

Understanding matrescence also helps us navigate the choppy waters of motherhood with more grace and compassion, both for ourselves and for others. When we realize that every mother is on her own unique journey, facing her own set of challenges and triumphs, it fosters empathy and understanding.

So, to all the mamas out there, whether you're knee-deep in diapers, navigating the turbulent waters of toddlerhood, or sending your baby off to college, I hope that you can embrace matrescence. Embrace the messiness, the imperfection, and the sheer beauty of it all. It is part of the journey and process.

I hope that in honoring matrescence as not just a phase, but a transformation, we can find self-compassion and greater support for each other.

Big Hugs Mamas! xox